cathybites | (no subject)

More Human Than Human
[rps au, jensen/jared, nc-17, 4813 words]

space au for

rps_advent. um. what I'd planned on being a few short scenes grew and grew and GREW until I hit almost 6500 words with no end in sight. but I needed to post *something* so I wouldn't get yelled at, so consider this the first part of the series or something. much much love to the fabulous

cosmic and

unholyglee for their ~~enabling~~ encouragement and eyes. Any typos are mine and mine alone due to my tendency to rewrite after my betas have gone to bed. Jensen's first lines are completely stolen from the song "California" by the Blatz. Title stolen from the White Zombie song of the same name. Everything else stolen from every single sci-fi movie and TV show I've ever seen.

"Sometimes," Jensen said, grunting as he sliced into his skin, "I get the impression I'm better off not dealing with people. It's a real pain in the ass being human."

Jared winced as he watched the scalpel slide into Jensen's flesh, carving a neat little flap in the middle of his chest. He knew that it didn't hurt Jensen, and that he didn't have to worry about blood spurting out everywhere, but he still could feel the queasiness kick up in his guts, setting his stomach rolling. Jensen peeled the flap of skin back, and that was Jared's cue to look away. No matter how many times he had to help Jensen with his maintenance, that was something he would never get used to. "Technically speaking," he said as he dug around in the toolbox, "you're not human."

He handed the pliers to Jensen, making damn sure to keep his eyes above neck-level. Jensen glared at him and Jared immediately regretted his words, but he shrugged, eyes flashing down Jensen's chest, the flap of skin rolled up to expose the inner mechanics of Jensen's body; he shivered and jerked his eyes back up to Jensen's. "Well, you're not."

The pliers were snatched from his hand and Jared whipped his head around as Jensen shoved them into his chest, pulling out a blown fuse. "Yeah, thanks for the reminder, boss," he muttered.

-----

Jared had never planned on being a smuggler. He'd wanted to be a teacher, like his mom, teaching young minds all about the wonders of the galaxy. He'd even gotten as far as applying to the teaching academy on Baptiste. But after the war, after his family had lost damn near everything they had, attending the local trade school was out of the question, much less someplace like the academy. He'd tried his hand at various odd jobs, struggling to help his parents out, but he had little experience and few options that were above the board. When it came down to it, smuggling just happened to be the least morally objectionable career path he could choose.

Not that he would complain about his lot in life. He figured that he was luckier than most - barely a quarter-century old and he had his own ship, his own crew. Hell, he even had his own 'droid, although he didn't often like to think of Jensen as his property. Pay wasn't always great, but most times he made enough to keep comfortable and make sure his family was taken care of.

Other times...other times he wondered if it was too late to sign up at the teaching academy.

-----

"So what you're saying," Chad drawled, one hand reaching up to scratch at an ear, "is that the lovebot here is going to start making the same as the rest of us?" Jared nodded, and Chad growled, baring his teeth for just a moment. "He doesn't even fucking eat anything but your cock. What does he need pay for?"

"Chad!" Kristen gasped, hand shooting out to smack him in the back of the head.

"What?" Chad shot back, glaring at her and rubbing at the spot she'd hit. "It's true. He's just Jared's big toy. It's not like he needs or wants anything. He just lets Jared fuck him because-- OW!" He shot Kristen another dirty look over his hand, which was covering his swelling nose.

Moments like these, Jared really considered selling the ship and starting over somewhere else, doing something respectable. A quick glance to his right showed Jensen still sitting in his seat, staring at the wall, like he hadn't even heard any of Chad's comments. Then Jared noticed the divots Jensen's fists were slowly denting into the tabletop. He cleared his throat, and when Jensen looked at him, he gave him a small smile. Warmth spread through him when Jensen returned it and unclenched his hands. He turned back to Chad, expression stern.

"Look, if you've got that big of a problem with it, then you can leave at the next port, find some other outfit that suits you better. Decision's final." Kristen gasped again, and Chad finally lost the sneer on his face, eyes widening in disbelief.

"The fuck, Jared," he said, the whine clearly audible in his voice. "Are you serious?" When Jared didn't answer, Chad slumped in his seat and said, "Fine. Whatever." If his species still had tails, Jared was pretty sure Chad's would've been well-tucked between his legs.

He tried to not feel too smug about that.

-----

Later, when Jensen had his perfectly molded lips wrapped around Jared's cock, sucking and swallowing like his life depended on it, Chad's words came back to Jared, and his stupid fucking conscience refused to let it go. "Jen, Jen, Jen," he panted out, tapping his hands against Jensen's head. Jensen just took that as encouragement, though, and tilted his head forward so that Jared's cock slid easily into his throat.

"Holy fuck." Jared thrust up twice into that tight, wet heat, fingers tightening around Jensen's skull before his conscience started prickling at the back of his mind again. He swore and pushed at Jensen's forehead. His dick popped free of Jensen's mouth, and they both groaned at the loss.

"What the hell, Jared?" Jensen looked up at him, a mixture of annoyance and worry on his face. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"No, no, god, no," Jared said, and Jensen grinned before bending his head back down to lick at Jared's cock. He was so fucking close but, fuck. "Jen, wait."

Sitting back on his heels, Jensen raised an eyebrow, still grinning. "You wanna fuck instead?" he asked, hips shifting.

As if there would ever be a time Jared didn't want to, but he scooted back, trying to ignore the movement of Jensen's hips, knowing it meant Jensen was preparing himself. "I just gotta know that..." It was so goddamn stupid, and Jared could feel the heat wash over his face, feeling lame just for wondering. Jensen was made for this; it wasn't in his programming to object to it or to want anything else, but that right there was the problem Jared was having, thanks to fucking Chad and his big mouth. "If you had a choice, would you still want to do this? Like, you don't feel this is something you have to do, do you?"

Something flickered in Jensen's eyes; had he been human, Jared would've sworn it was an emotion, but more than likely it was just some circuitry, bits of data passing through the wires. The grin on Jensen's face softened, though, curled into something sweeter and darker. "I want this," he said, voice heavy and low with sincerity and lust. "I want this," he repeated, moving to crawl over Jared. "I want you."

Jensen's weight settled over him, both of them moaning and gasping as Jared slid into Jensen, but his answer didn't make Jared feel any better.

-----

Jared had won Jensen in a game of Pyramid six months ago. The guy he'd been playing, a scow skipper from Attica, had said Jensen was top of the line, the best money could buy. Or, rather, what the guy had actually said was along the lines of, "T'is 'bot's t'e best damn fuck in t'e 'verse," and, "Ass so tigh' it cou'd squeeze come f'om a diamon' an' a mout' t'at'll make y'wan' cry like a baby," but that had been the gist of it. Jared hadn't believed all of it, but the novelty of owning his own 'droid had been too strong to resist, and he'd accepted Jensen as payment despite Chad's protests. "You can't fuckin' eat a 'droid," Chad had said, and as true as that was, Jensen had proven his worth a hundred times over. It was something Jared ended up pointing out to Chad over and over.

"Who else could've patched the rip in the hull when we were wing-deep in that Slegian mudpit?"

They were in the middle of their weekly Pyramid game, waiting for Rosie to flash over their next job. And, like every time since Jensen had come aboard, they were arguing about him and his place on the crew.

Chad grumbled, ears flattening back against his head. "Yeah, but I still don't like him. I don't trust anything I can't smell."

Jared thought of waking up next to Jensen that morning, nose buried in the nape of Jensen's neck. His first conscious breath had been filled with the scent of sweat and sex, of sleep-warmed skin and the wash Jensen used in his hair. Jared had pressed his mouth to Jensen's neck, still amazed at how real the skin felt, warm and almost alive. He could feel the rhythm of Jensen's electronic pulse beneath his lips, and for a moment, he had closed his eyes and pretended that it - the heartbeat, the gleam in Jensen's eyes whenever Jared reached for him, all of it - was completely real.

A card hit him in between the eyes and Jared shook his head, blinking rapidly. "You back with us?" Chad asked, head cocked to one side. Even with the buzz cut and the goatee, he looked exactly like the pup Jared had friended ten years ago. Jared grinned and nodded, apologizing. Chad studied him for a moment, then growled. "Thinking about him again," he said, not questioning and not without a hint of disgust. "Jared, you've got the dumbass, sappy look on your face. You're not actually falling for it, are you?"

Jared snorted, rolling his eyes even as his heart tripped over itself at Chad's words. Chad just narrowed his eyes, sniffing at the air, like Jared's feelings could just be scented out. "I'm not," he said, looking Chad square in the eye. "He's just a machine, I know that. It'd be like falling for a...toaster or something." A look of wary suspicion was on Chad's face, and Jared repeated himself. "I'm not. I'm not."

Chad didn't say anything else, just settled back in his chair and looked over his cards, but he didn't look convinced.

Funny thing was, Jared wasn't all that convinced either.

-----

"You're late, you hairless assface," Jared said, jabbing a finger at the monitor, and Rosie just grinned, shrugging. Fucking cocky bastard.

"Get your panties out of that knot, princess. I was busy drumming up something real sweet for you." The monitor flashed the details of the job, and Jared let out a low whistle. "That's right," Rosie said, his smirking face coming back onscreen, "who loves you the most, baby?"

"How in the hell did you pull that off?" Jared asked, crossing over to where the job was printing out. He held up the screen, reading over the details more closely. He scrolled down to double-check on the name of the client. "More importantly, what does someone like her need us for?"

"It's not my place - or yours - to ask. Just do the job and don't forget about me when you get the big fat payoff." With a wink, Rosie signed off, leaving Jared still staring at the printout, the text flashing by as he read and re-read it.

"We got a job, boss?" Kristen asked, coming up behind him. She peered around his arm, grabbing a hold of his wrist to tilt the screen her way. As she read over it, her eyes grew wide and she smacked Jared's arm. "Are you kidding me?" she yelled, mouth open in a wide grin. "Do you know what we could do with that kind of money? We could totally redo the engine, and still have enough left over to waste on booze and women."

Jared had actually been thinking of taking a vacation, someplace warm and sunny, nobody around for miles but him and Jensen. "Exactly what I was thinking," was what he said, though, throwing an arm around Kristen and knuckling the top of her head. She squealed and pushed away from him, running out of the bridge to let Chad know about the job.

Jared watched her go, and smiled to himself. If they could actually somehow pull this off, they would be set for a long, long time.

Of course, if they couldn't, then pain, jailtime, and possibly death were in store for them, but Jared figured it wouldn't do to dwell on such things.

-----

While growing up on Katowice, Jared's family had owned a whole passel of dogs. Jared's favorite had been a loping, gangly, slobberingly happy mutt named Sadie. His mom used to always say that Sadie was Jared's long-lost twin, transmuted into a dog, and it could've well been true. Jared had loved Sadie as much as his siblings, and there were more than a few times when he preferred her company to theirs.

Sadie passed away when Jared was nineteen, and the following year, on the anniversary of her death, he bought his ship, a Class CW cruiser. Not much to look at, not for the small amount of cash he'd saved up, but she got him where he needed to go. Small enough to not need much more than a mechanic and a pilot, but powerful enough for the work he planned on doing, it took him only a moment's consideration to christen her Sadie II.

Chad used to josh him all the time about how much attention he paid to his ship. "If you could figure out how to do it," he'd say, "you'd be humping this ship night and day, and the next thing you know, there'd be little freakbabies running around the cargo hold." That'd been back when it was just the two of them, doing small-time runs to the moons or some of the closer planets. Once the jobs had started to get a little bigger and a bit more dangerous, Jared had hired Kristen, who'd been recommended by Rosie as one of the best pilots in the 'verse. He hadn't been lying, and Jared couldn't even count the times Kristen had saved their tails with some fancy flying, the likes of which neither Jared nor Chad had ever seen.

"I got a gift," she said when he asked her about it once, smirking up at him, blond braids making her look even younger than she was. "There's not a gal in the known universe who won't do what I ask once I get my hands on her." She patted Sadie's console, looking down at it fondly, and if Jared hadn't been sure before, he knew right there and then that he'd never need another pilot as long Kristen was around.

He had to rethink that position when he brought Chad and Kristen to visit his family, and he walked into Megan's room one morning to find Kristen with her head between his sister's legs. He nearly burned tracks on the floor with how fast he ran out of there, and he spent two hours down by the watering hole thinking up ways to ghost Kristen for corrupting his baby sister. Then he spent another hour thanking any deity listening that it had been Kristen and not Chad, and he headed back home, more than willing to forget about the whole thing.

-----

"We're coming up on Belaire, boss," Kristen's voice announced over the comm. Jared grabbed it off his night stand, rubbing at his eyes as he checked the time.

"What's the ETA to pick-up point?"

"About six-point-five hours. Want me to drop another line at the hour mark?"

"Yeah, do that. Over." He flipped the comm shut and lay back down, eyes closing. Nervousness flitted through his veins, and he took a deep breath, trying to think of calming things. They'd done hundreds of jobs over the years, maybe even thousands, but none had been as risky as this one. There were too many things that could go wrong, but the payoff...if everything went according to plan, the payoff would be well worth it.

Jensen stirred next to him, then a warm hand stroked down his chest, fingers drumming lightly against his skin. "Need to relax?" he purred into Jared's ear, and Jared's cock nearly jumped out of his skin, he got hard that quickly. It was insane how easily Jen could turn him on. Sometimes all it took was the right kind of look, and Jared would have to drag Jensen to the nearest flat surface, throwing excuses over his shoulder as Kristen looked on in amusement and Chad growled.

He rolled over, pinning Jensen to the mattress as he leaned in for a kiss. Jensen's mouth opened easily under his, inviting him to sweep his tongue in, tasting the tart sweetness of what passed for Jensen's spit. The first time Jared had kissed him, he'd been worried about it, convinced that it would poison him over time until Jensen had shown him the chemical analysis of it. "See, it's all natural, all safe," Jensen had said before reeling Jared in for a kiss that had knocked him on his ass.

There were no qualms this time, with Jared grabbing a hold of Jensen's head, tilting it so he could deepen the kiss, tongue stroking against Jensen's, then out and over his lips before Jared sucked the lower lip into his mouth, biting gently, then releasing it. Jensen grinned up at him, hands sliding down Jared's back to rest on his ass and pull his hips against Jensen's.

"C'mon, Jared, fuck me." He thrust his hips up, and Jared could feel the hard length of Jensen's cock against his. Reaching down, Jared stroked it, running his fingers over it, feeling the slight tremble in the tight, hot skin. The tip was wet, a bead of moisture forming at the slit, and Jared slid his thumb in it, smearing the liquid around before bringing his thumb to his mouth and licking it. It tasted the same as Jensen's spit, just a little stronger, and he wanted more of it.

"Hey, what're you--Jared!"

That hadn't been quite the reaction he'd expected. He looked up from where he'd been licking Jensen's cock; Jensen was staring at him, looking confused. "What're you doing?" he asked, and Jared glanced back at Jensen's cock before sitting up.

"I was going to suck your dick." Granted, Jared had never done it before, but he figured it was about time he started pulling some of the weight in bed, let Jensen lie back and enjoy himself for once. He reached down to grab a hold of Jensen's dick, and Jensen scrambled backward, out of Jared's reach and actually crossing his legs before throwing a sheet over himself. Jared frowned. "What's wrong?"

Jensen actually looked embarrassed, an expression Jared wouldn't have thought he'd known or been capable of expressing. "I'm not...there's no point in it," he said, looking down at his lap.

"Point? There never is any point, other than to feel good."

Eyes flicking up to look at Jared, Jensen nodded, mouth twisting into a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, so if you're not getting anything out of it, then there's. no. point," he emphasized.

Jared took in a deep breath and stared at Jensen for a long moment. That familiar little itch at the back of his mind was waking up, dancing around and pushing his thoughts in a direction they didn't want to go. "Are you...are you saying that all this time, this whole time, everything we've done...it doesn't do anything for you?"

Jensen sighed, hands clutching at the sheets. "Not exactly. I'm not programmed to--"

"Fuckin' hell!" Jared yelled, jumping out of bed. He paced around his bunk, heart banging in his ribcage. The thought of sleeping with Jensen, fucking him day after day, and Jensen not even getting off on it...He stopped in the middle of the room and glared at Jensen. "I've seen you come, though. I've felt it."

"It's all simulated," Jensen said, voice quiet and small. He actually looked sorry about it, too, and. Shit. Chad was right. All along, Chad had been right. Without giving Jensen another look, Jared grabbed his pants and pulled them on. He didn't bother with his boots or shirt, just snagged them and headed out the door.

---

After he had acquired Jensen, three weeks passed before Jared could even think about fucking him. He'd heard horror stories, of guys losing their dicks when 'droids malfunctioned, and he didn't care how tight Jensen's ass was, he wasn't about to stick anything in there. So he just put Jensen to work around the ship: helping Chad with maintenance and repairs, cleaning up after everyone, doing the patches while they were in the black. Menial shit like that.

In addition to his fear of amputation, Jared didn't really get off on the idea of someone feeling obligated to do anything for him. Back home, he'd seen girls in situations like that, beholden to older men who provided for them and their families; in exchange, the girls were little more than sex slaves, forced to do whatever their 'benefactors' wanted. It had sickened Jared then, and it sickened him now. Physically, Jensen was everything Jared could've asked for in a partner, but he walked around the ship like those girls had, quiet and subservient. He did whatever chore Jared asked him to and never voiced an opinion or thought of his own.

Then one night as he was passing the galley, he heard Kristen tell a joke, and under her giggling, he could hear someone else laughing softly. He'd peeked in and been surprised to see Jensen sitting at the table with her. She'd grinned and waved, telling him to join them, but as he stepped inside, Jensen got to his feet.

"I'm sorry, sir," he'd said, staring at the floor. "I'll get back to work." He'd turned to leave, and Jared had grabbed his arm.

"No, c'mon. Stay and relax a little. Loosen up and be yourself." I want to hear you laugh again, he'd thought.

Jensen had regarded him with a bewildered look; then, slowly, a smile spread over his face, and it had been like time had stopped. Jared hadn't been able to hear anything over the pounding of his heart, not until Jensen had nodded and said, "Sure thing, boss," adopting Kristen's nickname for him. Looking back, Jared was pretty sure that had been the moment he'd fallen ass-over-teakettle for Jensen.

Two days later, after joking and laughing and watching Jensen's personality slowly take shape, Jared asked him to come to bed with him. Jensen had fallen silent, and Jared had nearly passed out from lack of air, not realizing he'd been holding his breath until Jensen had said yes, and it all came rushing out of him.

-----

Kristen didn't said anything when he entered the bridge half-dressed. She'd opened her mouth, had drawn in a breath, but a withering glare from Jared had shut her mouth. Every now and then, she glanced over at him, her expression ranging from curious to worried to annoyance, but she kept quiet and Jared couldn't have been more grateful.

Finally, as they broke through the clouds and the golden sands of Belaire appeared below them, she spoke. "We should be landing in about thirty minutes." Jared waited for her to say something more, and he wasn't disappointed. "Is everything alright?" she said, giving him a wary sidelong glance.

He took a deep breath and nodded, slapping his hands on his thighs as he stood. "Peachy keen, Kristen. Careful with my lady when you land," he said as he turned to leave.

"I always do!" she yelled back, and Jared could feel the weight of her gaze even after the door slid shut.

He made his way to the galley, hoping for a quick bite to eat before they disembarked. When he got there, Jensen was seated at the table, hands folded in front of him as he stared at the wall. He looked up when Jensen entered, and it was deja vu, with Jared staring at Jensen and Jensen jumping to his feet, looking at everything but Jared.

"Sorry," Jensen said. "I was just--I'll go."

He was halfway out the door when Jared said, "Stop." Jensen did, and Jared could feel the tension rolling off his body. "Turn around." There was a faint tremble to Jensen's limbs, but he shook his head. "I said, turn around," Jared repeated, and Jensen finally did. He'd had his head down, eyes trained on the floor, but he looked up as he turned, shooting Jared an almost defiant look.

"Finally decided to give that power trip thing a go, huh?" he said, and Jared's brow wrinkled in confusion before he realized what Jensen meant.

"Fuck," he swore, smacking the wall. He spun on his heel and took a few steps into the galley before turning back, hands pushing through his hair. "Jen, I'm not...I don't want that, okay? I don't want you doing things just because I say so, or because you feel obliged." Something churned inside him, ugly and dark, at the thought that he'd been forcing Jensen all this time. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Jensen shook his head, and one hand reached up to rub at the back of his head. It was such a human gesture, natural and without thought. Jared's hands clenched into fists, and he bit down on the urge to knock Jensen's arm back down. "It's not like I didn't want to do it, Jared."

Hearing that only pissed Jared off more. "You were faking it the entire time," Jared spit out. "It was like some huge fucking joke to you. None of it was real, was it?"

Everything fell still, like time had stopped and there was nothing left in the 'verse but him and Jensen. The roar of his blood rushing in his veins filled his ears, and he drew in a shaky breath waiting for Jensen's answer. Slowly, Jensen shook his head, eyes never leaving Jared's face. "No," he said softly, "some of it was."

"Bullshit," Jared snarled, turning to grab a dish and flinging it against the wall. There was some small satisfaction in the way that action made Jensen flinch. "You seriously expect me to believe you?"

Jared could see Jensen's jaw working, tensing, then relaxing before he said, "Physically, maybe I couldn't feel anything, but emotionally--"

"No. Don't even think about telling me that." Jared took a step back, hands flailing a little. "You're not human. You can't feel anything."

It took a moment for Jared to recognize the look on Jensen's face. His eyes narrowed, mouth drawing into a tight line, nostrils flaring, and Jared realized with a start that Jensen was mad. "I can, and I do." He snorted and added in a bitter tone, "It's one of my special features, the ability to learn emotions. And let me tell you, that's been a real treat."

Jared stared at him, then shook his head violently. "No, no no no. You can't just learn emotions. They're not something that can be fucking programmed into you like a...a casserole recipe or something."

"Why not?" Jensen shot back. "You don't think that's how humans do it, learning emotional responses from others, from experience? Something happens, your little synapses fire off, and ta-da! Emotion."

"That's not the same! And, no, that's not how it works anyways." It wasn't, he told himself, ignoring the way his heart threw itself against his chest at Jensen's words. It was all just setting him up to fall again, and Jared wasn't going to let that happen.

Sighing, Jensen took a step closer. When Jared didn't move, just watched him warily, he took another, then another, until he stood only inches from Jared. Close enough that Jared could fee the heat coming off him, could see the pulses of electricity in his eyes. "You believe what you want," he said in a low voice, the same one he used in bed, and Jared shifted restlessly, cock swelling in recognition of the tone. "I know what I am, and I know how I feel."

He leaned forward, mouth brushing against Jared's quickly before he pulled away. His eyes searched Jared's face, and he nodded once before leaving.

Jared couldn't say what Jensen had seen. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he could say what he was thinking, or what all the emotions flying through his head were. When Kristen announced a few minutes later that they were touching down in ten minutes, he was still standing in the same spot, fingers running over his mouth. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he made his way to the bridge, putting all thoughts of Jensen out of his mind. He could sort through them after the job was done.

thank you for reading!

I do have plans to continue in this 'verse, but with one thing and another, blah blah blah, you get the picture. Someday, hopefully, we'll find out what happens with the dear Captain and his robot love.

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